Breaking Religious Boundaries

What I am seeing in my own life as I seek to live in a more Centered Faith set. Some thoughts on Church Boundaries and how I am seeking to navigate the diverse relationships in my own life.

Photo by Erin Larson on Unsplash

Recently I was in church, and heard the words to a song, words that jolted me.

If every border that we made gave way

And all our chain link fences became gates

And all our levees became deep spillways

Then we might be the image of the one

Then everyone would then just inhale

Cause God would be here

Yeah God would be just everywhere

Yeah, God would be near

If we just looked outside the frame

These words made me think about my many friends, friends who feel safe in their boundaries, boundaries that I am working to break through.

For several years, I have been on a different faith journey than the one I traveled my whole life. I am grateful for my faith background and all of those who cared for and taught me. They introduced me to Jesus. I learned how to study scripture and developed a deep love of scripture study.

But a few years ago, several things began to unravel for me. I have written about that in This Substack post. We moved back to a small town where our older children had grown up. Things looked different. I had been traveling to other countries, to share the love of Jesus to the impoverished, and learning to see through the eyes of Jesus. These travels were uncomfortable, unexpected.

What I have seen

So, maybe my divergent faith journey actually began there. In places where people have nothing. Places where people live in homes made of tin sheets, plywood and plastic tarps. Places where trash piles up in mountains and people sort through it looking for materials to construct their homes. I have seen some devastating places and looked into the eyes of desperate people. I have also been blessed to watch children in these areas play and laugh and hold hands as they run around without shoes or the cares their own parents may be experiencing. I have sat in a room filled with teenage girls who have been trafficked and sexually abused by parents, by pimps, by strangers. I listened to parts of their story. Parts of their story because some of their stories are too painful and confusing to hear or share.

Perhaps these experiences have been preparing me for where I am now. My heart hurts for those who are forgotten, cast aside and ridiculed because they are different. Because they do not fit into the bounded rules of our faith beliefs.

We now attend a very small church. We stumbled upon it as we were looking for a church in the area we had moved to. We were tired of the mega church. We were tired of the programs. We were tired of the boundaries in churches. Who was welcome. Who was not.

When I was young, the first song I remember learning in my little “sunbeam” class (an SBC mission program for preschoolers) was “Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.” I was a child, and children are always taught that Jesus loves all people. But as an adult, I began to see that what we are really taught is that Jesus does love all the children of the world—as long as they conform to our western American beliefs about Jesus.

The church we now attend practices a “Centered set” belief as opposed to a “Bounded set” belief. I had never heard that term before. But basically a “bounded set” belief system is a faith system that is made up of rules that bind you to a set philosophy or Theology of faith. Anything outside that boundary of their beliefs is not acceptable if you want to remain. A “centered set” belief has no boundaries of belief systems except the belief of Jesus.

I have been doing a deep dive into the Sermon on the Mount using various scholars. In Scot Mcknight’s Sermon on the Mount- The Story of God Bible Commentary he includes a story of a church he was invited to speak at in Champaigne, Illinois. In this section he is teaching on Salt and Light and how the church lives out what Jesus taught.

Here is a quote from this section on boundaries.

The only way I can describe this church is to say the boundaries between church and community are porous. The church is an offering to the community and the community seeps into the church. There are no real “members”; those who attend are part of the fellowship, those who participate can participate as the Lord leads, and any and all are welcome to their services and their serving……, for many of us our church, whether it tries to or not, creates a serious boundary between those who are “in” and those who are “out…, What New Covenant does is to minister to the local community—and we experienced some homeless folks, a middle-aged woman who showed signs of schizophrenia, some Jewish neighbors who thought the topic of my teaching was of interest to them—and whatever the local community needs is what shapes what New Covenant does. The church has become an open table—everyone is welcome to come hear about Jesus, to worship God, and to participate as each one desires. New Covenant wants to do in Champaign what God wants done in Champaign. They don’t care who does it; they don’t care what it takes; they want to participate in God’s mission…,Our task is to represent God—mediate God’s goodness, God’s grace, God’s holiness and God’s justice to this world as those who represent God. Salt and light, then, are about not just what we do but who we are.¹

I also enjoy listening to a variety of Podcasts. One of my favorite teaching podcasts is Voxology. In a recent Voxology podcast Mike Eerie explains centered verses bounded using a soccer field as an illustration.

From a book by Mark Baker—He uses in his book the example of a soccer field. So a bounded set is like club soccer. There are lists of requirements that you have to fulfill in order to be part of the group. So you go to tryouts, you pay money, you have to verify your age, you have to get a certificate, a card that shows you are a member, you have to buy a uniform. It’s clear when you walk on to the field, those kids in the blue uniforms are part of the soccer team. So the boundedness is unless you’ve done these things, you can’t be a part of the group. Not everyone is accepted in this group. A fuzzy group has no boundaries at all. Let’s take the same field and tell everyone they are welcome. It doesn’t matter what sport you play, even though you are on a soccer field. You can play baseball, football, soccer, volleyball. Whatever sport you desire. This type of set is Chaos. There is no organization. Its fuzzy. Everyone is distracted by the other games being played. Same field but let’s say to people we are going out to play soccer today. Everyone is welcome. You do not need to pay, you do not need a uniform, you don’t have to be good at soccer, you don’t have to belong to the club , you don’t even have to know the rules of soccer. You just show up to play soccer. And guess what? You’re part of the group of people playing soccer. Now if somebody showed up to play rugby, you would look at them and say, hey, rugby is great and we love you for playing rugby, but we’re playing soccer. You are welcome to stay and play soccer. There are still of course some boundaries. A bounded set is a set where every member of the group has to share the same essential characteristics. There is a difference between boundaries and boundedness. Boundaries themselves can be good or bad. Boundedness means you’re focusing on the boundary and using it to place people into, to exclude, to alienate, to judge. Sometimes, the religious impulse is to turn boundaries into boundedness in a really negative and ugly way. In our Centered Set approach Jesus is the boundary but anyone is welcome to come and learn. This is a more centered approach.

I found this explanation to be a good way for explaining “bounded” verses “centered”. But to get a better idea, I highly recommend the podcasts. Everyone is welcome but we will be teaching Jesus. His love, His grace, His mercy is for all. Come as you are, who you are. You don’t have to know all the rules, you can ask questions, you can disagree and we will listen but we will be teaching what Jesus taught from the scriptures. Of course there is so much more that can be gleaned from their conversation. Mike and Tim recorded a series on this topic of Bounded verses Centered Faith. I have provided link to the first one in the Lagniappe section at the bottom of this writing. I think you will find it very informative, challenging, and thoughtful.

What I see now

Which brings me to the song I heard recently in church. As this song was played and sung, I thought about where my life has taken me these last several years. I have several dear friends and family in the LGBTQ community. These relationships are very important in my life and I love them dearly. Recently we attended a baby shower for one of our sweet friends. Two Dads who after many years had the opportunity to adopt a baby. A very precious little boy with a head full of dark hair. The shower was given by their friends and family, and it was a joyous celebration. Many attending brought their own little ones including our own son, daughter in law and grandson. There were food and champagne and absolute joy. But the most beautiful thing was when one of the dads stood to thank everyone who planned and contributed to the celebration. With tears in his eyes, he talked about how for ten years they had talked many times of wanting to raise a child and be Dads. And now they had been given this beautiful gift, and they were so overcome with pride and joy.

I could not help but smile myself. I too was filled with joy for them. At the same time, I reminded myself how much I have learned. In my early young adult years me, every Christian I knew was adamant that a child could only be raised by two parents. One Dad, One Mom. Not even single people should be allowed to adopt. It was a “bounded” rule. Our preconceived ideas of what “perfect” Christian families should look like. An idea that few even tried to achieve in other ways. Christians divorce just like non-Christians. Who really makes a good parent? Who gets to decide that? And Why should this be such an issue?

I have learned much because I have seen much. But I need to see more, and learn more. That is now my orientation. A very different orientation than the sealed and ossified standards I was raised to hold on to.

A few weeks ago, again in church, as our worship team was singing, I was also filled with emotion of all that God has taken us through and how grateful and thankful I am for His goodness, His grace and most of all His Love for me -a broken and at times doubting person of faith. Every day I am asking for forgiveness in overcoming that anger and the broken expectations that I face over and over. As my hands were raised in praise, I then opened my eyes and in front of me another precious friend was on his knees with his hands in the air in utter worship of God. I have no idea what drove him to it, but I do know that He has endured much out casting as a gay man trying to fit into this “bounded” world. He loves Jesus with abandon and he lives out his faith with so much grace. He is the first to make room for the man in the wheelchair that comes with his wife or the first to grab extra chairs if not enough were set up. One of his sons is autistic. He has given me advice on navigating life with my own brother and programs that are available to him.

I watch him in awe of his desire to love others and I was overcome with tears. I thought to myself, Why do people put boundaries on Jesus? Why do we require people to “shape up” to our set belief systems in order to worship him? I am not here to argue scripture. At any time, we can pick out bible verses to justify our beliefs, any belief. We see scriptures blatantly pasted on our social media feeds to place fear into people’s hearts to get them to conform through shame or guilt. Our own government uses verses taken far outside of context to justify brutality in our own country against people.

What I am talking about here is just loving people without placing boundaries or expectations on what we think they should believe or who we think they should be. Do we not trust that Jesus works out all things? Do we not trust that God loves each person regardless if they believe him or not? We have made ourselves Gods appointed judge to rule and condemn those we disagree with, right now here on earth with our own selected laws. I too am guilty of it over and over, especially when it comes to politicians. I must remember that they too are made in Gods image regardless. Even if I despise the way they are operating.

In a conversation with our pastor one day he told me. “I do not affirm lifestyles, I affirm people”. And that is where my heart remains. To affirm people. To love them. To see them. All people as people made in Gods image. Yes even our politicians

What am I looking at?

Our church is made up of many different types of people. Young, old, rich, poor. Sometimes we have people from the homeless community that come with one of the regulars. Sometimes, we have people who have been hurt by church life, but still have hope and so they come seeking. They may come for a while and then maybe move on. Our church does not have “membership”, but people give generously when there are needs. At times there may be less than forty people on a Sunday. We meet in an old store front on main street of a little town. Next door is an oyster bar and grill. On the other side is a local coffee shop. We do not have “programs”. Sometimes during worship, a little toddler or young child may run up the aisle and out the backdoor to play.

It may sound like chaos, but this little church knows you. A visitor told me today that she was tired of Mega churches, she was tired of being a number. When a stranger shows up you are greeted and welcomed no matter what you are wearing. It is a community of people who love with so much grace. It’s a family. It reminds me of the first church in Acts where Luke teaches that they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. They loved each other. Last year we baptized 12 people, in a members swimming pool. Children and adults. When there is a dispute, it is not pushed aside. It is talked through, it is prayed through, it is met with reconciliation and healing. I know because I experienced it personally. It is in these moments with my church community that I see what I should be seeing. Flawed people forgiving. Being patient. Seeking, Learning, struggling together. It is not perfect, but now is a pretty good moment to see.

What am I seeing now?

I am seeing God at work in my own heart as I learn to love people outside my own bounded set of ideas. God is showing me a deeper love, a deeper faith than I ever thought of and it is beautiful. Even as I still have so much work to do.

If you would like to learn more about the Centered-Set Church approach check out these suggestions below

Moving Beyond Line Drawing

In this episode the hosts read several questions from people who are deconstructing. They also dive into what is Unity in the church. There is a pre discussion on the death penalty so if you want to move past the beginning chatter start around minute 30. Also there are several episodes in the series. I plan to listen to all of these and dive further into what this Centered Set looks like.

Centered-Set Church

They are basing their conversations from this book by Mark Baker. I plan on ordering it to continue my exploration of this topic.

1. The Story of God Bible Commentary. Sermon on the Mount. Scot McKnight. page 60-61